Just like the old saying goes: "'I' before 'E' except after 'C' and don't you dare put a motherfucking 'K' after that shit either or I'll murder the fuck outta you."

I also mix in some cayenne pepper and, strange as it may sound, ground cumin. It adds that certain je ne sais quoi, in keeping with the parlance of the article

And Phillies fans are ok with any misery that befalls you personally.

Exactly. You're this guy.

What position do you play on your lacrosse team?

Right, you're Buzz Killington.

But not everywhere will you find people named Jacob Jacobson*. That is a strictly an American-Scandinavian thing.

It also illustrates the fact that no one gives a shit.

The fact that Jacobson isn't higher shows an extreme ignorance of the culture and history of the Scandinavian Diaspora.

Thank you so much for spreading the gospel about Lisa Eldridge, as she is fabulous! You're correct: Makeup should be FUN! I am lucky enough to work in a creative field where I can express myself through funky colors and whatnot. And, yes, I do contour (I keep it on the natural side). But I am not down with makeup…

God, the 80s cheek. You could ski through that shit. Add the dark eyeshadow and sticky lip and you have any action movie female baddie from 83-89.

See, this whole contouring thing happened when I was a kid, too. In the 80s people were all about using a shade darker foundation to thin your nose and stripes of blush to give you cheekbones. Then we woke up in the 90s and realized everyone was just walking around with dirty-looking faces and/or like clowns.…

If anyone is looking for absolutely wonderful, sane, non-judgemental makeup advice (including contouring!), I highly recommend Lisa Eldridge's site. I only recently discovered her, and man, I wish I'd had her calm, easy-going reassurance when I was a teenager. I get really exhausted by the arbitrary laws that some…

I hope one day you can afford to be a decent human being. Good luck.

Contouring is a drag queen tool. It works for drag queens because they are typically performing, and the look is a more exaggerated, overdone version of femininity. When women do it, but also try to make it look natural, they look like second rate drag queens. I am really not seeing the issue here.

If you really believe shrooms are a frat dude thing, you did not take the proper dose my friend. Google Terrence McKenna, he'll learns ya.

Opium kicks ass too, btw. But if you're going to do opiates you might as well do heroin, which is much more potent but just as addictive/deadly.

Anyone choosing Shrooms over Opium has never had Morphine. Also probably listens to Phish.

Pffbbbttttttt.