Sepp Blatter's compensation was not available because human souls are usually off the books.

Do 1000 more and then come back with the results. 15 is way too small of a sample size.

Well, at least Seattle fans will get to see a few dunks now.

You are so fucking annoying about MLS.

Why has nobody thought to do a "Jean Grey plays baseball" gag before?

though it's odd that there needs to be a policy for human sympathy.

Seriously, the e-mail of the week was an emotional roller coaster.

J Jonah Jameson: "Call your mom, call your dad. If you are lucky enough to have a parent or two alive on this planet, call them."

His subtle, calm, old-man jog celebration at the end is really the best: "Can't exert myself too much. I have to play bocce and drink Chianti in the park after this."

Because it is so hard to find a female who is attracted to us that we are forced to assume they all are just so we don't miss an opportunity.

I would also like to be held in winter. Or summer. Or any time, really.

I think it might be more complicated for people.

Marla Hooch.... What a hitter

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, sh... hey, where'd you go!?!

True Detective Season 3

Gronk and Beastmode

This needs to be a sitcom, or a reality show. Just have these two live together and be themselves. That was unexpectedly, extremely, funny.

tl;dr: (insert fart noise)