Hold the fucking phone. Buttered Popcorn is supposed to be the good jellybean in one of these hellish pairs? Sometimes you just can’t win, can you?

Oh, God, I popped a random jelly bean in my mouth just the other day, and it was fucking buttered popcorn. I thought I was going to hurl right then and there as I frantically searched for jelly bean colors that seemed relatively benign that could cover the heinous, disgusting buttered popcorn bean. I eventually found…

Problem is the only way to tell is by eating them.

If they really wanted to make it realistic, they’d say he tore his finger tendon and will be out for the rest of the season.

If you forced me to eat a bag of Buttered Popcorn Jelly Bellys or get hit by a truck...you’d really have me thinking.

This is correct.

It’s pink, so that could mean it’s strawberry smoothie. Or it could mean that it’s a fucking ham sandwich, because this company is run by Dadaists.

Eating random Jelly Bellys is like playing Russian Roulette with your tastebuds.

The weird thing is if you ranked the 100 best jellybeans being hit by a truck would probably come in at #50.

It’s extremely unfortunate that those racist thoughts still exist in some people’s heads. People in Japan love the good ol’ US of A.

They’re betting the under.

ESPN: Millennials want some youth and diversity to go with all of their hipping and hopping.

Fuck ESPN. Clayton is great - a knowledgeable yet common man with the ability to laugh at himself.

“more practical Viper”

“This guy is probably praying his insurance company will cover this.”

Life is tough. It’s tougher when you’re stupid.

how was that a double dip? i didn’t see any salsa or tortilla chips.

Björnsson filed an official appeal requesting that footage of his final rep be reviewed, but it was denied.

(fan in front row looking up)