Did your Theatre have to evacuate before the end too?

Actually, the 2006 World Cup final went to extra time and then penalties.

When the weather in Houston is supposedly going to be fierce and hard to contain, but then nothing happens and everyone is disappointed, it would be the perfect time for Jadeveon Clowney to tweet.

SEE IT’S A JOKE ABOUT FEDERER’S BACKHANDS ALWAYS GOING INTO THE NET

I've been drunk all afternoon because I'm unemployed because of grad school.

By the end of freshmen year of college, I could barely stand the idea of eating another meal at the dining hall. But the school required us to get meal plans with 21 meals a week, and we all had to eat there during pledgeship, so there was no way that I was going somewhere else.

Shut up

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO EXPLAIN TO MY 5-YEAR-OLD SON THAT TWO GROWN MEN CAN’T GET DRUNK BECAUSE BUD LIGHT COSTS $10?

The 2,632 consecutive tweets also served as a nice tribute to Cal Ripken Jr.

Oh really? Ever read Cardinals Twitter when the tram’s losing? And comments about Kolten Wong’s eyes?

You forgot to say something racist and/or homophobic and misspell “Busch”.

They thought Yordano Ventura was pitching tonight.

The family has asked for lack of privacy during this transition.

I think you meant chAir Force

C'mon, Feebs, that's below Air Force standard. It's like you want us to make fun of you.

Also, isn't being Christian a choice? Because they don't seem to mind beating people over the head with that decision...

Actually, that is a good point, thank you for correcting me. I should have said that she does not conform to typical standards of female appearance, which goes beyond just dress.

I'd rock the Hawaiian shirt and anyone who wouldn't is wrong.

Joke's on you, asshole - there are 10,000 UVA grads named Clayton Hunter!