Strip Club Idiot here!

That's why you post a video in your Facebook feed, Russ, then nobody from the NFL will ever see it.

I just say with increasing volume, "fap fap Fap FAP FAP FAP FAP". It usually gets a laugh out of him.

Sometimes I wish the Constitution were more black and white. Like, I wish it would flat out just say in plain English: "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States." Then we wouldn't have to deal with all this mess...

It's not happening, but I'd love to see the Academy nominate Marion Cotillard for Best Actress for either The Immigrant or Two Days, One Night. She's electric in both roles.

You can tie this in to Marchman's #1 cereal rank and induct them both, seeing as they taste about the same.

We baseball fans love us some stats. Sometimes they seem to be more important than the players themselves. We use them to measure the abilities of players against their contemporaries and, with adjustments, against players of other eras. We use them to decide who is worthy of election to the Hall of Fame. And they are…

Dude, shut the fuck up.

Not everything can involve semen, OWV.

"And come tip time, that'll be 50 Cent."

On the plus side, if a runner does get shot at least they get one of those 30.06 stickers.

I'm not sure why this is news, Samer. Bengals fans eat butthole all the time, and even consider it their city's signature dish.

Imagine her surprise had she gotten as far as the southern border of Georgia only to gaze out on the vast ocean. Nearby she would see an animated rabbit resting peacefully in a hammock with a well worn saw on the ground next to him.

Plus, you already have the perfect excuse for rejecting such advances.

Agreed. If there's ever been a finer time to tell a complete stranger to fuck off, I'd like to know.

I was in the zone playing old school Duck Hunt before a party one night in college. Everyone was planning on meeting in my room and had arrived were watching the action, waiting for me to miss but secretly hoping I didn't. I had already entered the point where you could not miss once to advance, something I had never…

Was anyone else expecting the hoity-toity British dad to be the guy on the other side of the glory hole? The setup-to-payoff ratio is way too high here. What a letdown.

Another one of Deadspin's McMalley's Celtic O'Boozehole attack articles

The bible's subtitle should be [Citation Needed]

But something rubbed Bristol higher-ups the wrong way.