That figure would undoubtedly double if they had to play the Rockies at Coors Field, given the thousands of miles between the ballpark and Denver International Airport.

Honestly, I don't know if I would be any more intellectually-honest if I had a bone to pick in the situation and I would certainly do all I could to protect my job, especially if, as you say these guys are, I was not well-compensated and losing the job would affect my family greatly.

That is the most intensely accurate dissection of anything anywhere on the internet. You have single-handedly made me regret that entire region of my bracket.

"Let them clock in."

It's pretty easy to not talk to a Juggalo. Much harder to not talk to a Beyonce. They're everywhere and sometimes don't even wear clown makeup.

Anti-vaxxers are the worst. Other than that, excellent final 4.

No no, Beyonce fans are truly horrible horrible people. That said, Cross-Fiters may have no regard for your safety, but they're not aiding things like the Mumps (THE FRIGGIN MUMPS) or even Polio from making a comeback. CrossFit people are terribly human beings, but they aren't a threat to the general public like…

I find myself voting not for who is bitchier, but who I hate more. It feels natural. I've stopped fighting it.

This whole thing should have been over the second the person posting the bracket began typing "CrossFit."

Fucking idiots. Everyone from St. Louis knows that rules aren't supposed to be written.

How far can you punt your lack of knowledge of pop culture?

Your mom is, though.

+1 soulful independent documentary that I'm sure is incredible but is so niche I'll never cross paths with it

Show me on the doll where Cap'n Crunch touched you.

I stand by my statement.

Since you ranked ranch over tzatziki, your food opinions are no longer accepted.

BROWNS COACH: So, you guys are pretty serious?

Can't we just dispose of the rings altogether? I'm a man, and I neither want to buy an engagement ring, nor wear an engagement ring. It's already unreasonably expensive to get married (seriously, every time one of my friends gets married, they end up spending, what amounts to, a serious down payment on a house which…

"Mommy, why is daddy sitting like that?"

Reporter: Hey Alex, just one last question- when you were out there, were you thinking about your recently deceased brother?