HOLY CRAP, I FOUND ANOTHER ONE! I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST ME AND OLDER PEOPLE WHO DON'T KNOW HOW TO TURN OFF CAPS LOCK!

I'm not proud of this but my first thought was, "I wonder if they're gonna go the obvious route by her killing her husband on their honeymoon by smothering him to death during sex?"

You're 76 years old, and still commenting on AV Club? Well good on ya you doddering extraterrestrial Christ-figure.

“What’s Moby Dick about?”

“I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car!”
Okay, no matter how mad you are at somebody, that is never cool. You can eat the brownie, sure but you never tell the person. That's just tactless and cruel.

But if I love myself any more how will the chafing ever go away?

Maybe gaybe. Maybe gaybe. It's fun to say. Maybe gaybe.

It's funny cause it's true!

It isn't proper sci-fi if you don't have to "fanwank" a few things here or there for it to make sense.

That's great. I heard that guy's been sitting around his house ever since the internet fame died down.

Dogs with robotic bees in their mouths so when they bark they shoot robotic bees at you.

@ Gentle Herpes

Yeah, I lost count of how many sperm she helped me terminate.

Dammit, now I gotta dig out my Kids In The Hall boxset to watch that skit again.

"Luke and Haley’s conversation about whether or not he could “get” her sounded like the beginning of some niche fan-fiction."

Even though he was only onscreen for about 10-15 seconds and had one line, he stole that one scene in Clerks 2.

It didn't help that the day after I saw that episode I had an eye exam at the optometrist, and that stuff they use to dilate your eyes made me see flashes of bluish shapes every time I blinked.

“A tryst at a pool party turns into a fiasco.”

Yeah, it's almost like he isn't an old man or something.

I know I'm gonna regret asking, but which is which?