No, the normal window would shatter into thousands of pieces, as it is supposed to. Tesla catches fire from an accident, doors jam and precious seconds are lost as ERS cannot successfully break the glass instantly. They will, what, need to use an axe? While you burn.

See HBO, you can end a story properly. :D

Thanks to you and the staff for the lasting memories. I grew a lot as a person in the decade plus I started my mornings off with you guys. The team’s solidarity yesterday/today has been inspirational and I wish you guys all the best.

Yo, congrats to you and the rest of your crew for standing up for what you believe in.

Thank you for this, I have spent all morning looking for a website to tell me who won last night’s game.

Holy shit they deleted them? I wonder if it had anything to do with Spanfeller’s private number being posted. Still - what a fucking weak-ass move. 

Venture capitalists HATE public domain songs.

Dogs’n’bears only, please.

If anyone wants to hit up ole’ Jimmy Spanny himself and ask him what the fuck is going on, here’s his number! 917-881-5965

God damn it. Stick to sports and stop talking about the MLS!

Sticking it to powerful people who are fucking up a good thing with disingenuous pleas to “avoid controversy” and “stick to sports” is a good thing.

Good. Now pay the fucking writers to write about the sphere that sports is. Please don’t murder this site. 

You are giving us the language and voice and light we need in this dark, dark hour. I am so thankful we have writers like you and sites like this. You are a treasure. And to make it clear, and to ensure this is indeed a sports comment and not about a weaselly bag of orange goo soiling the Oval office right now, I…

If this is the last Deadspin post, how fitting indeed. You guys and gals and non-bs have given me so much over the past decade plus. I’m going to follow each and every one of you where you go.

Let’s remember some Deadspin:

Who changed the timestamp on this story so that it appeared above the three good sport dogs post?

Senator McConnell, your thoughts on ‘the dignity of the office?’

Also, in the event the G/O management succeeds in banishing politics from all the blogs, we’ve created a refugee camp here:

The fact that Trump can go anywhere without being cursed at is a testament to how often we give too much respect to assholes and despots who don't deserve. The only thing that would've made me prouder of the area that I live in is if they had started an "ASSHOLE" or "FUCK YOU TRUMP" chant.