The Incredible Machine

That’s a name that rings a bell that knocks over a bowling ball that makes a hamster run on a wheel that powers a conveyor belt that shoots a basketball into a hoop.

yep. This line from his email is gold:

Wow, man, Teddy is a piece of shit. At least he has the wherewithal to recognize and admit it. That’s the first step, T!

Case in point. I was in Dallas earlier this month for work. (Protip: Off the Bone BBQ)

The Cowboys are “America’s Team” in that we have a president who suggested we nuke hurricanes. That is the Cowboys.

Everyone on this site is now dumber for having read those tweets. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

I think you would have difficulty getting 15 seconds into an explanation of social contracts with large sections of this country before you were denounced as a socialist.

Do Americans even understand what a society is?

Yeah, this is one of those cases where, even as you admit that no, not everything’s a metaphor or a microcosm of some larger zeitgeist . . . this is pretty much a metaphor or microcosm for a larger zeitgeist.

I respect your commitment to big boy accuracy

You have 3 buildings that meet the measurements required to be labeled a skyscraper.  I researched this to make sure of the accuracy, because last time I drove through I thought I saw 4 tall buildings, but only 3 are big boys.  

About 98% of us hate the 2% that booed him. They can fuck off to Philly or something.  But sir, we have AT LEAST...*looks around and counts*...5 tall buildings downtown. We’re not Akron, or something.

As much as I want Jacoby to succeed ( former Patriots QB, after all ), seeing those tweets has made me believe that Indiana has already ruined him, and by the end of the season he’ll be the league’s first QB with Alzheimer’s. 

The residents of this 3 building having, 4 block fucking town screamed and booed at someone who, until that point, seemed to be one of the least booable people in the entire league. The guy that was set up to be hurt by men who were unqualified to build a team around him. It’s a shame and a relief that it came to this.

Andrew Luck 2012: *Takes a sack* Great job, man. Insane hustle. You really got me.

Andrew Luck 2019: You even just look at the ceiling and wish you could stop existing? Like, not die, but just POOF and cease being altogether. Maybe it’s nothing but motionless, soundless black. Complete emptiness. Nothingness. But it’s…

“THE SMALL LITTLE BONE LUCK IS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH IS OBVIOUSLY IN HIS BACK, ‘CAUSE THIS PROVES HE’S SPINELESS!”

Also, didn’t Dakich quit a job at WVU before he even started? He can suck a bag of tailpipes.

Dakich also walked away from the West Virginia job after a week and Doug Gottlieb bought his way out of Notre Dame with someone else's credit card, so they both can speak from experience.

Dakich quit on West Virginia after one week because it was “too hard.” He's your average conservative hypocrite snowflake.