Human enjoyment of bloodsport goes back to prehistory. I’m not going to feel bad for enjoying boxing. It’s a step up from cockfighting, bear-baiting, and the NFL.

Every fall I harvest the last of my herbs and spend an afternoon making compound butters. I chill it, slice it, and freeze individual portions. This gives me wonderful butters all winter long.

I dispense with the waxpaper rigamarole for my compounds - just spoon it into a small crock or a glass bowl, and cover tightly (against the surface of the butter) with a heavy duty plastic wrap. Voila!

I put herb butter on my turkey. Just rub it all over the fucker. And don’t forget about the breasteses . Gently pull the skin apart from the breast meat and stuff a bunch in there. Holy hell it puts it over the top like Lincoln Hawk.

At Meiji Jingu Stadium

After my experience with the Branch Davidians, I’m kind of turned off compound butter.

I think it was classy of Souza to march himself right up there and show concern. The teams in the league should surely band together to address this egregious safety issue. I read a story recently in the Washington Post about the Nationals extending their netting.

Usually its a shot from Sauza that puts people on a stretcher.

So negligent that nearly this exact situation was the prompt for my torts exam.

I can't believe a small guy with an average skill set and poor work habits didn't pan out.

Whenever I hear about some notorious celebrity fuckup trashing their rented mansion, I always wonder who their landlord is and why they allowed a known lunatic to stay in their incredibly valuable property. Is googling your applicants a violation of the Fair Housing Act or something?

Can’t wait to have Johnny Football attend my fantasy football draft for $100 bucks in a few years.

“Daznotme!”

Did Drew Rosenhaus take Manziel on as a client specifically so he could chastise him publicly? Can’t imagine having some asswipe tell you that you need help via ESPN will actually benefit Manziel.

Whatever Happened To Johnny Fucking Football?

It’s like D.I. had a crystal ball:

What happened to Johnny Football? For all we know, the guy could play just fine while on mushrooms. But “SOCIETY” wants to treat drug addiction like a disease instead of just a normal Joe having some fun and sowing wild oats. Let’s all calm down and let the guy trip balls between the lines instead of making a federal…

Pictured: What happened to Johnny Football, William Hogarth reporting

Whatever Happened to Johnny Fucking Football?

If only there had been some red flags somewhere in the process.