I’m all for this April Fools stuff but I vehemently disagree with your take on skiers. Stay on the Greens! I’ll be in the trees!

Showers twice - doesn’t exercise. Uses Keurig. Fuck the environment for convenience, amirite?

Our school had a fencing team. It was not meant to be taken as a joke. I got cut.

Prove it.

You can call humans garbage but you cannot support Skynet. I prefer my death at the hands of Mother Earth. GTFO!

You rock!

Iggy Azalea fiancée

Beach balls and city blocks does not compute.

Tennis can be played in the A/C. If you can afford country club dues (I can’t).

Sun dial/

I thought McDonald’s was saleing breakfast bowls.

What’s the salary cap and how was his contract structured and did they even try to trade him before they just let him go without getting anything in return? So many unanswered questions.

But how do I polyamory?

I love living in Texas. I hate the Tenth Amendment and the “states’ rights’ bullshit. I jealous of reasonable legislation.

doggy discrimination

woof. i want a cat.

How to Lower a Toilet Seat

Yous is funny.

* vomits on rug

You girls talk about sports funny. I like it.