PSA:

Missy Elliott taught me that if, after careful consideration I wanted to work it, I would need to put my thing down, flip it, and reverse it. Sage advice, indeed.

Not to be that guy but the Triangle Shirt waist fire is not really a jokey topic... but otherwise fuck TedTalk

you all have seen this, right?

surprised they didn’t go after the Onion. (and here’s my all-time favorite fake TED talk)

How about inebriaTED Talks?

I didn’t know Drunk Ted Talks existed until this suit, but it sounds delightful so I’ll check it out.

IANAL, but I have worked with trademarks as part of my job. As the corporate lawyer explained to me, TED does actually have to shut down Drunk TED. Trademarks are not passive. If a trademark holder doesn’t act to defend their trademark, they can lose it. When Drunk TED was small, TED probably figured they didn’t need…

WasTED. You’re all welcome.

we need to protect our trademark to prevent confusion—which we were seeing more and more of as Drunk TED grew.

Why won’t young TED just let its drunk uncle TED drink in peace? Yes he knows it’s killing his liver but young TED telling him to stop just makes him ant to drink more.

Lord, as I walked along the beach, I saw two pairs of footprints in the sand, and then I saw one. Why was that?

Now I'm imagining him squinting at some lady's pelvic area

"Yeah, it took a horrible situation to wake me up, but I was deaf and blind to the truth"

No idea, but my husband's cousin has ocular herpes. Picked it up at a swimming pool as a teen. (I know, I know, but apparently a dozen different people all developed eye herpes that summer at the same pool, so...)

I've heard of humble bragging, hadn't heard of humble repenting. This guy is gross.

PS: the reason I went looking for the answer in her textbooks is because when I asked my girlfriend " hun, how does someone get gonorrhea in their eyeball?" She shot me the most stern yet concerned look ever.

OMG...thank you. I know the walk with the Lord is not an overnight thing, but at the very least, someone advising him might want to help him tackle that "get the beam out of your eye before you comment on the speck in someone else's" theory.

And even at this point, he has to reiterate how many ''hot chicks'' he fucked. HUNDREDS, he tells us. The self-aggrandizement and narcissism that allows him to feel justified in beating someone nearly to death continues apace.