Mark Wahlberg dies in the Perfect Storm. That’s a happy movie ending involving a boat.

I didn’t even know they showed movies at 9am...

I made the mistake of not buying advance tickets for a 9am showing. Who knew?

He will probably cover some of it. But the whole of 8th grade terribleness includes figuring out menstruatuon and figuring out how to do anything with your body (walking, sports, clothes, etc) as you are now half woman and half child shaped.

Her list of things she wanted nearly made my heart explode. And as a person who skipped my 8th grade pool party because of my body anxiety, this is making me tear up. This looks great.

You know whatever dude came up with it probably giggled to himself the moment he made the ad and then called over all the bros he works with at their app (only woman they’ve hired does “art”) and high-fived each of them. Then grabbed a beer out of the complementary beer fridge and got loudly drunk at work at a 2PM on…

I think it’s the very last point that says everything. United have taken full responsibility without being prompted. They’ve admitted fault. If THEY think they’ve fucked up, you can bet that’s the actual case.

People: read the links in the story before you pass judgment. If you want a quick overview...

When she says he’s “more handsome in person” it looks like she’s about to grab a knife and fork and eat him right up, y’all!!!

Bobby, this is way better than being acknowledged by Megyn Kelly Today Today.

It takes some people time to truly believe...

Can I both believe her and at the same time never in a million years think Ryan Seacrest would want his penis near a woman?

I liked him as Jordan’s brother in Scrubs who died of cancer. It was a phenomenal episode.

All of the fantastic names that a person could choose and this idiot goes with Joop. I can’t.

Certainly sounds like it.

at which point Winograd, fearing a lawsuit, started looking into this Cousteau fellow, and, some detective work later, discovered his true identity. He then contacted U.S. authorities.

Why thank you. We’re all very proud of your kid’s huge scholarship and are collectively certain he’s the next Quincy Jones. Ugh, there I go with the meaningless gossip again.

I had the same reaction. I just love her, and I love them. Not that my love matters in the sense that no one should be sent anthrax-laced mail, but still. BAH.

So, are all the boring guys going to go through this scruffy, man of the woods phase now?