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"We like to consider ourselves 12th-graders, the guys with more experience than the ninth-graders, the ones that the girls want to fuck. I mean, time and age are really irrelevant to me. Johnny is the same way. Sometimes, I think I'm trapped in the age that I started this. I'm trapped at 23."

Juice cleanse. Or any other kind of scientifically unsound dietary fad. It tells you a lot about a person.

Where are his glasses? He can't see without his glasses!

I once got tricked into going to a pyramid scheme recruitment drive by an acquaintance. It was 40 minutes away, and she insisted on driving so I couldn't just get up and leave when I figured out what was going on. The presentation started with a slideshow of all these people on sunny beaches holding up "Wish You Were