One of my best friends and I have what we call “Real Housewives Lunch” every few months - where we go somewhere fancy and order a salad wearing our fanciest jewel toned silk top and all of the jewelry we can fit on our bodies. Always a good time. Thank you for providing so much inspiration here for our next outing.

I wonder whether it might not have been adulterated somehow? And/or whether he was on other medications/psychotropics that may have combined badly?

Getting lost in a cornfield? Sure. Existential crisis in the bathroom mirror? Ya, that happens. Beating someone to death with your bare hands? Na, that’s some underlying shit.

I don’t buy it. Unless LSD has changed tremendously in the last 20 years, violence and acid don’t really go together. I was always too busy having really intense conversations and laughing. Paranoia didn’t factor in as it might with MJ.

It’s not just the proofreading though. Stuff like this:

I’m probably being a huge asshole but I have trouble understanding how the non-custodial parents not paying child support are the victims here.

I’d enjoy Lala’s company. I would. I can’t explain it. Katie, on the other hand, would depress me so thoroughly I’d break into tears before she finished saying “Pucker and Pout.” And an hour with Sheana would have me Googling “Kevorkian Machine” or “Shay’s Vicodin Dealer.”

I feel like Lala is a caricature of everything I look back at my 20s and hate myself for. Excessive and unnecessary nudity? Check. Bad taste in men? Check. Thinking I was significantly cooler and more important than I am? Check. Saying I would totally not be mad about something happening and then getting ragingly…

I will never quite understand how someone loses a bag of blow. I did it once. ONCE. And it was the worst 20 seconds of my life (until I realised I hid it in my right boob instead of left boob)

Damn, I can’t believe she almost got away with a 60 pound carry-on...

Am I alone in really not liking Ariana this season? I mean, she’s obviously very smart and seems above this crap (I say “crap” with SO much love, guys), but she lost me when she said she takes sketch comedy “very seriously” and implied others (kristen) shouldn’t do it. Girl, your diary reading was not funny.

i think lala getting in with james a smart and calculated move on her part. the girls were never going to let her in, and james gives her a story line. she’s successfully infiltrated

The controller is the guy who's going to write all the checks to Hulk Hogan.

Do you think Shannon could possibly let that happen at this point?!

I need an option for ‘God no, this looks terrible but I would still fuck Seth Rogan, what a babbbbbe.’

Ugh, the only thing I care about less than someone’s boner is a Christian’s boner for Jesus. We get it. You like him. If more of you were content to keep it to yourselves, I’d be totally fine with that. But, when you insist on shoving it down our throats, particularly legislatively, I have a pretty big beef with that…

Too bad about all those terrible things that happened to me at Jesus camp

That’s nice, dear.

Being an exception to a rule doesn’t make the rule any less fucked up

I’m happy for you, and it sounds like your parents are pretty great people.