Sometimes a rolled up hundred dollar bill just isn’t fancy enough.

How is a dog harness for your GoPro something that you get to ask for for your wedding?

What in tarnation is a “curiosity vessel”

It’s great to see Miley speaking up on such an important (and largely ignored) subject, as well as being so much more articulate and respectful about her own life and motivations. It feels like an about face — a few years back, during her twerking phase, I was so grossed out by the entitlement of this rich girl…

Literally my exact thought while looking at it. Like sometimes it physically hurts me to know that men that beautiful exist and they are not on top of me at all times. Is there anyone you think is so hot that you’re just like “Yeah I would do absolutely anything with you just name it don’t care how nasty”? Mine is Tom…

My pops is black and my mom is white, and when they got married in the early 80s in buttfuck Colorado this was quite the anomaly/scandal. They couldn't find a black groom cake topper so they just sharpied in a white dude. Nothing says “special day” like blackface on your wedding cake

Not my cake disaster but I was witness to this as a plus one at a wedding. Couple orders gluten free cake because best man has Celiac (we know this because the table tents said in lieu of favors they were donating to several charities including one having to due with Celiac disease in honor of the best man). Bakery…

I’ve mentioned in a few posts that I’m a casual cake lady. I grew up helping my mom with cakes (also a casual cake lady) - many of those cakes were wedding cakes. You don’t know many 12 year olds who know how to assemble, cut, and serve monster weddin’ cakes, do ya? We’re LDS, so we did pretty brisk business with my…

My aunt Bonnie’s second wedding was a small affair in Lake Tahoe. Her cake was from a chain grocery store, which, since it was located Tahoe, did regular wedding cake business and had a pretty large bakery section. My aunt’s fiancé, Steve, picked up the cake the morning of the wedding and came back to the cabin we…

I just imagined two brides attempting to hug in princess gowns bouncing off each other like bumper cars and skidding across the dancefloor.

“ Yes but what does Klaus Knowmi think? I love that dude’s comments.”

I would have sex with each and every one of them right now.

DDDs here too. My best friends and my worst enemies.

I think modest dresses can be really pretty

For real though? Pnina Tornai dresses are ugly af.

there should be an app called R U SURE? that prompts you when you start taking portrait mode video. Then you have to click “YES I AM TERRIBLE” OR “NO THANK YOU FOR THE REMINDER”.

If I found out my ex was engaged or married, I'd feel very sorry for the poor woman who was now legally bound to a human millstone. A woman as awful as he would reject him.

I think I would be upset if most of my exes got engaged (I’m on okay terms with like two of them), but not because I love them deeply or anything. It would be because I find them to be entirely loathsome individuals and I want them to be alone and preferably miserable forever.
I am not as nice as I pretend to be.

When my ex found out I was dating my now-fiancé (I had to meet up with him to tell him because he was really fragile and weird and we met in college so we still ran in the same circle) he told me that I was only dating the new guy because he had “a beard and a job” and then “proposed” to me by telling me he was going…

I like to think I’m capable of taking the mental high road and not thinking about my ex once I get engaged....but he’s such a smug, egocentric, self promoting shithead that I just reallllly want to get engaged before him. It’s so petty, but we’re both in long term relationships now and I juuuuust want to be the one to…