Who is amber rose?......Who are you? Who is that houseplant? Who is a chair?

Celebrity bicycle.

So it’s worse than beating your wife, but not as bad as beating your wife but being caught on tape.

I think he should have to play the first 4 games with a ball COMPLETELY deflated... Like ur dad makin u smoke the whole pack when he catches you smoking cigs! Ha!

OH MY GOD, this is the epitome of Husband and me. He wakes up at 5:30am and is all like, POKE POKE POKE, LET’S DO IT. And I’m all like, wtf is your problem, asshole, I’m sleeping. You poke me again and I will rip that fucking finger right off your hand and crazy murder you with it. And then he’s all like, Geez, why so…

Samesies. Boyfriend likes it in the morning, I like it at night. My main issue is that I am a very sweaty sleeper, so I wake up looking like raggedy Anne; whereas, at night, I typically have some make up left over on my face, I’m relaxed and feel pretty and most confident.

I was at a salon once when a woman walked out with a box of hair color to be applied. The colorist looks at the color, looks at her hair color, and explains to her that applying that color will turn her hair green. She even brings out a color wheel to explain why. The woman insists that she apply it anyway. She…

so i guess were now at, what, tripling down? the vast majority of your readership is telling you it didnt work. i cant see how basically telling them theyre stupid and to fuck off is a great response.

Jackie Siegel is both my spirit animal and my nemesis.

With all due respect, if this is satire, it’s very poorly done. Most readers of this site are educated, bright, and quite humorous. If this was even a moderately well-written satire piece, more readers would have realized it.

Is that what was decided after the intended narrative didn’t catch on? LOL nice try.

Not to mention those dresses are all too short!! I’m tall, I need maxi dresses.

Uhhh, excuse the fuck out of me, but I look goddamn fantastic in a maxi dress. You can pry them from my cold dead hands.

Yes. The problem isn’t maxi dresses, it’s that there are too many poorly cut ones made of terrible fabric out there.

I love maxi dresses. You can pry them out of my cold dead hands.

I love maxi dresses, and they look fucking awesome on me if I do say so myself (and I do).

I feel like the caveat is also “Be very careful wearing one while drunk, because if you step on the front hem, you’re going to show your boobs to everyone.” Not that I’ve ever seen that happen or anything...

All of those models look absolutely fine. Maxi dresses are comfortable, and they make me look tall. Though I will say, I don’t care for the cotton jersey types. They pill and look like shit after a couple washes.

More Brian in my Jezebel please!

The butterfly ring over the latex gloves is everything.