Based on the tone of your discourse here, I’m going to assume you’re the one doing the beating.

Another plus, we won’t have to worry about Florida on election night when it’s underwater.

“Will the recount give Clinton the election win? Probably not. Will not filing for a recount give you Autism? Who’s to say?” - Jill Stein

Well, if we’re going to be terrified either way, I’d at least prefer to be terrified while still having my health insurance.

Remember when the Democratic president made FOX news illegal? Me neither.

The people in my life who were Bernie bros or other third-partiers and spent the last year DRAGGING hillary and then either didn’t vote for her when it counted or else smugly confessed to holding their noses and voting for her are now all upset and panicking and it makes me want to fucking scream.

can’t be held responsible

I think he was also the starting 2nd baseman for the Chicago Cubs.

men are so gd dramatic smh

They came first for the clowns, and I didn’t speak up because I wasn’t a clown...

It had to be said...

“I do, and it wouldn’t have anything to do with my debate performance, either,” Johnson replied happily. “It would just be that people would recognize that there’s another choice.”

Gary Johnson has both!

9 million dollars says he wouldn’t stop vaping and honestly I don’t blame you Angelina I really don’t.

From now on, all briefings should be conducted using body language exclusively. The intelligence officers will sit silently while Trump stares at them, and determines from the angle of their knees what ISIS will do next.

Anthony Weiner IRL:

Ryan: “Mom can I have some more money?”
Mom: “What happened to all that money I gave you yesterday?”
Ryan: “I uh, spent it on hookers and dru...uuuuhhhh....we got robbed! By cops! They had guns!”
Mom: “OH MY GAWD RYAN! I’M CALLING THE FBI!”
Ryan: “Mom wait no...” [CLICK]