4. READ THE LABELS!! This is the best way to get around marketing bullshit, especially for women’s products.

I don’t buy from any company that uses hydroxic acid in any of their products. Nasty stuff.

Steve Jobs killed himself by trying to treat his cancer with crackpot alternative “medicine”.

That was one of the big problems with this piece. This guy, who probably pitched this piece because he wanted to re-use the reporting/sources he had from Holtzclaw’s college football career, thought he was doing something in the vein of “Serial” or “Making A Murderer.” But he never actually investigated the case or…

All you need to know about Holtzclaw is that when a cop in his department saw a pro-Holtzclaw article being shared on Facebook he lost his shit. He was fucking furious and had to refute it. (And almost accidentally jeopardized the case and said a couple of questionable things.)

So the guy who green lit and edited this piece, Glenn Stout, is the same guy who picks Best American Sportswriting every year? Great.

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

What happens if you set it to the other end of the UNIX date range (2048) and let the clock run out... Anybody?...

They’d pretty much root for the Nigerian to die.

Can you hear me Major Tunde?

Okay. I like giving this to my my middle school students to review grammar mistakes and evaluate whether they believe the article is true.

I wonder if he has some awesome disco tunes to listen to?

Quick, someone contact Tommy Wiseau and Uwe Boll, I have a collaboration project for them.

I guess Abacha Tunde is just gonna have to science the shit out of this.