Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke. Stroke.

CTHULHU L'RHAN IH NGEGUUCTY! V'TAHTH DODGERS M'NRAH PUIG! LORANIZ F'STAH DAVID FREESE FR'ZTAH! SCULLY!

Ortiz drops his bat and steps out of the box before the ball is even halfway to the plate. Once the ball gets to the plate, it's lower than the word "Boston" on his jersey. And he struck out by swinging at a ball that almost bounced. Papi has no case.

What's wrong with Leaders and Legends?

After reviewing this footage several times, I don't believe the motorcyclist was trying to be an asshole and brake-check the car driver. It appears he was having trouble shifting. If you look closely at 0:10, you can see the bike Stalin.

Didn't know the Biogenesis scouts were this bold.

Nice effort by ESPN, but they got completely one-upped by NBC Sports today.

Stallworth then actively demonstrated his support for gay marriage by running over a married heterosexual man with his car.

I don't know about murder, but he is guilty of the worst Oscar Pistorius impression of all time.

For what it's worth, the Blackhawks are estimated to have between 2 and 3 million people at their parade on Friday.

Wait until the Blackhawks parade this year, last time it was at two million in 2010. And we're talking about hockey here.

Well those pics are from the end of the celebration. Most of the heat fans left early

17 seconds... about as much time SportsCenter covered the game for.

"Twice in 17 seconds. Sounds about right."

Most Likely To Laugh At His Own Jokes

What's a Nene Leakes?

Luckily, this guy was wearing scuba gear and escaped unharmed.

Even Russian wildlife run insurance scams.

Who performed the first musical number?