skim heads

And Dr. Oz with his S-shaped shits

White House didn’t allow Trump® Gold eggs. Unfair!

“Bunch of moochers looking for free government eggs! Sad!”

I am of Norwegian decent with a very Norge name and after P.A.T.R.I.O.T Act found myself on the No Fly List.

Same boat here. Why not let him fade into obscurity?

dear lord, you sure hate tribeca.

I was shocked to see that any non-white, non-male, non-rich people would be delusional enough to vote for Trump. So many things about people taking him “seriously, not literally” and I don’t understand why people genuinely believed he was just playing a character on TV and wasn’t going to do the things he claimed. I…

See, all this could’ve been solved by ‘Beach vibes.’ Khloe, let me ghostwrite your tweets.

no one in their right mind would ever fuck them?

I understand the point. I’ve been commenting here since gawker was a small NY media blog. And it’s been the same old shit since day one and it gets old sometimes. That’s all I meant. Today was just one of the days it bugged me.

Annoyed and offended are very different things. I’m simply annoyed. It’s one of my pet peeves here.  

I’m not even talking about the content. I’m talking about the inevitable person who has to come here and smugly predict what kind of comments we’re going to get on a specific article. It’s annoying, smug and pointless. I’m allowed to have pet peeves.

You know what? Smug predictive comments like this are just as annoying as the comments you denigrate. What’s your point? To feel smart? To feel superior? You were in the greys once too.

You had me until you mentioned garner, I can’t think of anyone who really cares what she’s up to.

Constance Wu is a badass. Doing the thing your conscience tells you is right even if it could hurt you (career-wise, in this case) is honorable and beautiful and I am really impressed by her speaking up. I also agree with her re: Casey Affleck. What a turd.

OMG that Philly accent makes me want to call my family and tell them to shut up.

I will miss xoVain, but you better believe I cackled with great enthusiasm when I heard xoJane was going away.

It isn’t my intention to be tough and edgy. You anticipated a response like mine. I think it’s unfortunate that Jezebel needs to intersperse reporting that inspires intelligent discourse in these rage inducing times with nonsense click-bait about a pointless, lip synching woman-child. Women don’t require this kind of…

WHY ARE YOU WRITING ABOUT BRITNEY SPEARS AND SNAPCHAT FILTERS, OPENING THE POSSIBILITY THAT PRESIDENT CHEETOLINI WILL ALSO DISCOVER SNAPCHAT FILTERS??!!?!