He just wanted you to get your mother fucking roll on.

That drive was so far left it almost beaned HamNo.

“ She reached out to a Gawker reporter who’d previously gotten tips about it and learned the names of the two women who’d claimed that they’d experienced CK masturbate in front of them at the Aspen Comedy Festival around 2008.”

Damn, what is it with mma posts? Always seems to bring out 3,000 word replies ha! I’ll try to keep it short.

I think you mean where the fuck did you grow away.

Running in the zoo seems like a good choice. It’ll sure as shit make everyone who sees you think “What the fuck are they running from?”

Typical BMW owners; honks at you, aggressively follows you until you finally stop, all to tell you how much your motorbike/car sucks. 11/10 accuracy if it is a fake.

As a starting lineup, playing 30+ minutes and being the best players on their team? 25 wins, max, with no chance of making the playoffs. They’re a great bench unit, but a BAD core.

You misunderstand me. I’m friends with a shark bite victim so it’s cool

This is just like the time when I broke my hand playing Golden Tee, while drunk at a bar. I eventually recovered physically, but the mental scars remained. Can’t tell you how many times I was asked to play. But I just couldn’t.

Twins got hoodwinked by a similar contract with Joe Mauer. Can’t wait til we get out from under that albatross

Hat guy has been trying to catch a foul ball for years but safari can’t manage to get one.

He was later devoured by Bartolo Colon.

I look forward to seeing the longform oral history of Jim Harbaugh’s hot tweet when I wake up tomorrow.