Doug, I drive a Forester in Denver. The remark about the XV Crosstek (CO bowl smokers) could not have landed better.

Fortunately, to help explain Volkswagen's issues, they have me: a self-described automotive expert in the sense that a) I own a car, and b) I sold two cars in 2014, which makes me approximately as successful as the Routan.

I never looked that far into it.....hold on.

Haha. In one of my first columns ever, I made the lesbian joke. I think half the comments were pissed off at that ONE joke. So now I stick to head gaskets and, when appropriate, Vermont.

You... you are crazy.

170k sales this year, just edging out Acura!

For the last two years, I have tried to make just ONE Subaru joke that lands. You can't do it. Subaru owners are simply too sensitive. You can't say lesbian, flip flop, grape nuts, sandal, Vermont, Colorado, pot, hemp, or Oregon, without them complaining about how the joke is old. I have literally never experienced…

Call me crazy but I always wanted a Tribeca.

Volkswagen has repeatedly stated that it views the US market as a top priority. In fact, Volkswagen built a factory in the US and now produces in it a US-specific midsize sedan. Not to mention their repeated goals of selling 800,000 cars in the US by 2018, a measure that has been repeated ad nauseam to everyone on…

This is a stellar, insightful, and hilarious article. Representative of the best that Jalopnik can deliver. Bravo.

Sorry, was DeMuro's joke not old and tired enough for you?

To prove my point, I present to you the 2014 automotive sales figures for Volkswagen and Subaru. Last year, Volkswagen sold 366,970 vehicles – a decline of 10 percent compared to its 2013 numbers. And in the same span of time, Subaru delivered 513,693 vehicles. In other words: this is no longer a footnote. Subaru sold…

It was 3 below this morning and I let it warm up 10 minutes. Guilt? Nope. Just warm hands, face and toasty buns.

Ok so you hate Detroit, we honestly dont care.

I think people idling their cars for 15 minutes is more because they don't dress for the weather and are spoiled than because they think it's good for their car. Let's be honest, most people don't give a shit about their car. They ignore most of their maintenance and go 35mph over speed bumps. They certainly don't…

This. I debate this every year with people.

For better traction, under inflate tires.

All-season tires are good in the snow.

Honestly, the biggest one is "I don't need winter tires", but I feel like we have gone over that pretty thoroughly. I'm only saying it again because it's really a message that needs to be pounded home. If everyone in the DC area was on mandatory snow tires, Tuesday would have been a walk in the park.

Wait. So, a loaded v-6 cts is over 65 grand? No wonder they aren't moving.