WINO FOREVER

I’m within a few months of Winona’s ago, and I very definitely recognize that face: Six beers and a massive bong hit into a metal show, circa 1987, right before you start throwing devil horns, headbanging in a way that fortysomething you *will* regret, and hooting, “WHOO! FUCK YEAH! LEMMY!” even though Motörhead isn’t…

This is literally my face in work meetings lately, stone cold sober. My poker face is long gone.

That boy is absurdly adorable, and Millie is so precious.

Since last Friday this is my default face.

All of this.

I’m still undecided, but the fact that Matthew Modine was holding both her arms as if to keep her still or keep her from collapsing, makes me think she was hammered in a Hollywood way that most of us never get to experience.

To her defense, they didn’t raise the mic for him so maybe she really couldn’t hear.

You know, they are all legit teenagers (Millie will be 13 next month) but every single time I see them, I just say, “Awwww”, as if they are small children.

I know, right? The Crown is this brilliant drama and Stranger is some dumbass nostalgic tribute to movies that were shitty in the first place.

Winona Wasted. I know because getting wasted is totally my jam right now.

You could be hearing your dead grandmother’s voice telling you to fuck Hitler with a strapon, and your face STILL wouldn’t make those expressions.

I thought Winona was making those faces because she couldn’t believe Stranger Things actually beat out The Crown, GOT, and Westworld.

My room-mate also makes this face after several glasses of wine and a couple of cigarettes.

This is pretty much my face after a bottle (or two) of wine. Thanks to that little Stranger Things angel, hearing loss will be my new excuse when my kids are older and ask why my face looks weird.

...Come closer so I can tell you a secret: SHE WAS DRUNK!

ICE must actually hunt for frustrated neo-Gestapo officers to fill its ranks. I have never been treated decently by a customs agent, even when returning from a war zone in uniform

It took all afternoon, but I got *two* Trump supporters to admit and realise this was wrong.

not to mention, it’s a long flight. I make these long hauls with my kid now and again, and I’m delirious whenever I land somewhere. I think they only thing that I could (deliriously do) is say “not until my husband gets here. i’m not doing anything until my husband gets here.” because that’s the only thing that would…

I’d also like to know her secret to looking radiant after a 16 hour flight and 20 hours without basic humanitarian supplies... looking after two kids.