hey double creature

“Looks like the Summer of Splits is leading to an Autumn of Atonement.“

Just so we are clear where I stand.

HLN is what Headline News used to be. Headline News is what CNN2 used to be.

was conceived after one of their “frequent family dinners in mid-August.”

same.

It is ok. I also love them. It pains me. But I do.

My Rolls-Royce boycott is currently at 17 years and counting. I remain passionately opposed to their “No Free Cars” policy.

Yep. Prison workers have, IRL, sewn underpants for a company that rhymes with Euphoria’s Leaflet.

I can’t decide if this story is cheesier or fishier?

I just created an amazing blt. Now it's creating some gas.

TBH, my first thought reading that headline was, “Wait, we’ve got people in jail who can actually create fish? Since fucking when did Azkaban have a prison labor program? Also I thought food-magic was limited to, like, doing stuff with it, and that you couldn’t just create food out of thin air, and...”

I only buy goat cheese that was made by free-range prisoners, up for parole for good behavior. Otherwise I can’t sleep at night.

Scissorhands can’t cut steel beams.

Now I’m shipping Snowden/Winona

fart 2016

proud to say that I’ve been following @fart for years now.

I have never been prouder to be an American.