ME FIRST! I’m drawing up my divorce papers right now.

Marry me, fart.

Me too! But I need the weekend to buy all those clothes I won’t wear to anything but the school carpool and buy food that will sit in the back of the pantry until someone in this house gets REALLY desperate.

good luck on this year’s race Erin!

WHICH IS LITERALLY JUST SUGAR AND FLOUR THAT YOU CAN BUY ANYWHERE

Well, to be fair, you can do it in one step by robbing a bank. I suppose that is me being lazy and looking for a shortcut though.

To me, he will forever be Ralph Lifshitz from the Bronx.

DYING for it. i’ve bought a few items off preserve (lower price tag items, of course) and am actually kinda sad for this?

this bag though...let’s I just say I’m hoping it shows up on Deep Cuts.

The forgiving part of me wants to give her credit for quitting while she’s ahead I guess. She recognizes it sucks, and is pulling the plug before it sucks more.

Thank God there's Goop. Otherwise, I don't know how I would go on.

Too bad, so sad.

kinky sex makes Jesus cry.

Seriously though, other than a mischievous Canadian getting ahold of your phone, how ELSE would this happen?

i do this 2, maybe 3 days a week.

IT’S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MARRIAGE LICENSE IN THE WORLD AND DON’T LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE

And all I got was this stupid marriage license.

To be fair, on the sliding scale of awful things that can happen to you because you went to New Jersey, he still got off pretty light.

There’s a Flipping, Arkansas though.

I’d have believed it if he had said Pennsylvania.