Well put Randilyn. Exactly my thoughts.

She’s absolutely beautiful, and that dress she’s wearing on the cover is amazing. I mean, I’m certainly no Lupita and it would make me look like a Christmas ornament, but I want it.

The sobbing while eating ice cream gif is the only appropriate reaction to a Lupita magazine cover.

Watching the Vogue 73 question videos is like getting my eyelashes pulled out one by one, but for you, Lupita, I will do it.

*sigh*

Chocolate? Bacon? Someone is. . . A CLOSET REPUBLICAN!

I did the dishes and still feel like I came out ahead.

I think that guy was just holding that sign to see if anyone would talk to him.

Your decisions are the best decisions.

Trade you a foot of hardwood for a couple of the pretzels?

Goddamn, that bartender was stone cold. How did he/she not recognize that this is the only situation in which alcohol should be readily available to anyone and everyone?

Congrats on your sobriety. It gets less boring, I promise.

0.587 percent? Jeebus. That’s insane. Embarrassing story time. I got a DUI when I was 19, and my BAC was .252. I totaled my car because I passed out at the wheel and/or blacked out so hard that I hardly remember veering off the road. And by then, I was already drinking regularly for 3 years or so, so I knew I was…

Damn you to Hell.

For fuck’s sake. The only time this “parenting technique” will work is if the kid dies. So congratulations. He’ll never drink again.

Man, that is serious Grade-A shit there. Kudos.

not for a child of color :/

Wat!? I didn't get laid after my arrest!!