Weirdo, or Caro mio (“my darling” in Italian).

His real name is Adam Wiles. Both names are boring AF.

All of them I need to hear all of them please tell me there a references to pet butts please.

I refer to him as my “tenderoni” or my “man friend” but I mostly call him “bro” and “dude” and “ey yo” or “hey dummy”.

walk of fame!

The only living thing I love is my cat, who I call Bunny, or sometimes Rabbit if we’re being formal, despite neither of these being the name I tell other people is her name.

The pet names I have for my pet are better.

Girth Brooks.

Bunny/bunny toes/bun bun. Monkey. Boo boo. Babby. Minky manky monkey. Bear/baby bear/boo-beary. Sugar tits. Hubbaloo.

I call my husband, “Bunny.” He looks like a ginger bearded lumberjack and is about 6’2” & 250lbs.

We call each other valentine or sweets. He begins every sentence with “girl” and sometimes he calls me Sweet Cups. He also occasionally calls me by a long acronym that has something to do with how my butt is better than Scarlett Johansson’s, which he decided after we watched Under The Skin. We rarely call each other…

Asshole. Wait... Sometimes I use Honey. But mainly asshole. Usually just his name in exasperation.

and then he’d explain to her that he sexed her up really, really well and thus DESERVES her number. I don’t want this to be true, but in my heart I know it is.

I call my sig bunks, burrito brain, or bunghole (sometimes a combo platter like bunghole burrito brain)

Nuh uh you’re wrong.

It will be really fun for an hour, maybe a day or two. Sims3 is like crazy cheap right now, if you’re serious bout it.

She thinks this is funny. Kanye does not.

Is Calvin Harris’s first name really Adam? Or did she just forget his name and they are trying to play it off? I need a birth certificate.

[Winks hugely]

Abortions are awesome. They gave me a pill beforehand to counteract nausea so the abortion procedure was the first time in weeks where nI didn’t feel like I was about to vomit and the very next day I stopped feeing like shit and got out of bed and went romping through nature and shit with a renewed zest for life. I’d…