We could if it was made into art of some kind so it was no longer a biohazard. We could also hold tiny funerals for our pads and tampons by biting them on the lawn of the state capital or something (to avoid breaking the law of course).

My father has both a sick sense of humor and criminal tenancies. One year, in the spirit of Christmas, he stole every baby Jesus out of every Nativity scene he could get his hands on. There was not a single Jesus to be found in any of the local thrift stores or in front of any churches. He sets them up for every…