My windshield wipers are dull so I moved to Syria.

It’s comforting to know that ICBMs can be disabled by jumping on them.

The Outsports article is outstanding, and I’m absolutely thrilled for O’Callaghan that he has worked through his mental health issues. I hope he continues to thrive and, hopefully, completely puts his mental health issues behind him as his body heals physically, and I hope he can live the life that he wants, on his…

“On permanent disability [...] thanks to a bum groin”

Good for him, this was a courageous act.

Honestly, I think Idris should be considered Zing of the Zaddys.

Zaddy sounds like Daddy.

Oof. Cole went on to say the environmental review and permitting for digging Musk’s tunnels would take “decades.” <<< perfect example of govt. efficiency 

Well of course it is a pipe dream, after all a tunnel is really just a big pipe.

This could have been stopped by merely driving with your doors locked by the sound of it.

What can I say, I guess I like pus!

Alien day being on 4/26 is goddamn stupid. It should fall on the 426th day of the year, dummies.

It’s not uncommon for doors to be inoperable after an impact. This goes for all kinds of doors - even normal manual ones.

Listening to your own musics in public has to be the most lame thing an artist could do. This would be like running into Stephen King reading a Stephen King book in the airport.

Donald Trump: orders women to pee on a mattress.

Great work. Although it might have been easier to get to the truth if you had set up a...

Walk? I think you better scramble.