My local dispensary was giving out free jolly ranchers and I was like “Oh, it’s a jolly rancher, nbd!” I took it and in the two blocks it took me to walk home, I completely lost my fucking mind. My friends were at my house because we were cooking dinner together and I could not. fucking. move. They put me on the couch…

Turn it over, put some aluminum foil on it, it'll do if you run out of plates.

Taylor Swift at Burning Man:

"What? She used a vibrato out there?"