All that matters is making money NOW. Screw everybody else. Get in, take what you can get and give yourself a big fat fucking golden parachute.

Linky no work? Damn

Did someone say Monster?

I'm having trouble with the air conditioning on my motorcycle.

Ah, you just don't know me very well. I make fun of everything. It's awfully cute but I won't have one any time soon. I prefer my cars well used.

I got a Corvette that I'll sell for half of that. It looks real similar but that's because it's seen 33 HARD FUCKING YEARS.

How could you not dragon that car Ray? Look at it, it's just asking for it.

We got our own idiots.

The window is easy enough to fix. Bonus points for saying "looks cool" and "lots of dents" in same ad. 305 with headers? Probably moves the acceleration from slug-like to positively tortoise-like.

I would have gone with Sandra Bernhard but Swinton is good. I try not to use my own cars as answers much but I'll have to go with this. I bought it because of the price/performance factor but the looks kinda grew on me over time. Kind of like that chipped tooth you get used to feeling with your tongue, it's better…

It is absolutely pathetic. It's an incredible image. Here's your hug.

Congratulations Spiegel-whatever. I tried to find you something nice.

I've always found the woman incredibly attractive and I'm not sure why. Just kind of mesmerizing. That damn gif wall does not help one bit.

Hey I know Spanish. Bonus Nachos Sangria!

Try that with Far Side and you'll definitely get one from Larson.

I pulled into a park out in the boonies one time to take a leak. When I got out of my truck I heard tires spinning and a lot of cussing. I look over the hill and there's a boat launch. And there sits a really pissed off guy in a Ford Ranger stuck trying to pull a boat that was a little bigger than the truck. He…

With my old Converse All Stars and my dog. I like it.

The adult in me says that is adulteration of the worst kind and can not be tolerated.