Welcome to Deadspin...we have jokes.

Most Democrats are...the problem is we can’t celebrate the implosion when we are left with Hillary in the wake.

To achieve a less stressful bedroom, I have been BEGGING my wife since we got married to have three bedrooms: hers, mine and ours. She never liked the idea, she’d rather hit me all night when I snore. Then we had kids (probably because of the whole one bedroom thing) and it’s not possible to achieve my dream.

You never, ever fail to deliver.

*rimjob* shot.

They aren’t mutually exclusive. Questioning why a 15 year old is out at 4am doesn’t mean that they commenter also is concerned about the assholes shooting at each other.

All you need to know is that Billy is the one on Deadspin that pretends to know soccer/football and equally pretends to know how to write.

This exodus of “talent” from ESPN is like Fox News “talent” suddenly jumping ship for CNN. It’s almost going to make ESPN watchable. Now if we can just rid ourselves of Stephen fucking A. Smith.

I know it’s not too bad for Americans. However my best “mate” is English, from Newbury, and his parents came to visit us once. We had to drive from Philadelphia to State College to take them to a Penn State game. It’s about 150 miles. He parents couldn’t believe the distances Americans drive. The fact that I routinely…

That’s not an Antonio Brown jersey...it’s Santonio Holmes which is what make Schilling wearing it even funnier.

The Fox News person’s reaction at :49 seconds made my day, week and possibly year. Her face just said, “This idiot can’t be serious right now. Fuck my life.”

As a longtime soccer fan and admirer of Maradona’s prime...this is beyond sad to watch. Then again you could say that about the last 15 years of his life.

Figuring from Newcastle (which is about as far north as you can go in England before hitting Scotland) to Southampton (about as far south as you can go before being in fucking France) is about 300 miles total, a 200 mile RT is crazy.

I watch scenes of his Klan rallies and just wonder what the fuck happened to this country.

You really think so??

There’s no way that’s milk. It’s white wine or water that looks the way it does due to a camera flash and a white table cloth.

First time on Deadspin?

It was very stoppable just ask Aaron Hernandez.

Patrick Kane, is that you?

I just ordered one online last night from Amazon. $35 for the Pi and $7 for a case for it. I can’t wait. Nerdgasm