At first, the way the light’s hitting that diamond made me think it was a giant diamond skull, which would have been insanely baller for an engagement ring, disembodied hand or no. But alas, my eyes deceived me, and it was just an expensive one of these.

My friend saw a comedian in Portland do a bit where they asked people in the audience to raise their hands if they’d ever been inappropriately touched by Andy Dick. Five or six hands went up. Then the comedian was like, “No matter what city we’re in, or small town or whatever, when I ask that at least two people raise…

I love how he says “nobody ever came to me” as if WOODY fucking ALLEN weren’t the last person anyone would EVER confide in about harassment. I mean, seriously.

Jenny McCarthy was talking about this way back in 1998:

Jiminy Christmas, what a dick.

The reenactments on Drunk History ARE the best part! But that’s because they’re kind of parodies of reenactments, and there’s also the lip-syncing thing.

It really annoys me, but in a way I perversely enjoy. Mmmmm, annoying iZombie theme.

I have liked every song on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (or at least appreciated what it was trying to do) and I think it’s a brilliant show. But DAMN that opening-credits song is grating, and the crappy animation doesn’t help. I get that it’s parodying the Beverly Hillbillies theme, but the Beverly Hillbillies theme is…

Me too! It’s respectful and I wish all museums had something similar.

I feel like this story is the winner. Oh my God.

Now I’m wondering if Renee Zellweger stood up to him and he punished her for it. I know roles tend to dry up when actresses are in their late 30s because Hollywood sucks, but it feels like Zellweger basically disappeared for years, right after her career was really hot (Chicago/winning the Oscar for Cold Mountain). I…

There have been at least 11 reported deaths. Story from the major local newspaper, which I’d recommend for further updates:

I wish that instead of a Megyn Kelly show, there was a show of that superhero-lookin’ lady Avital Zeisler demonstrating self-defense. Like, every day. You’re welcome, Hollywood.

Can I vote for “the strip club Cardi B used to work at” for President next time? Because it appears to be organizing disaster relief faster than the federal fucking government.

Do these socks come in a yellow floral pattern? It’s really, really important they match my bedroom wallpaper.

Indeed! I stand corrected.

Ok, 5% may be true for men who commit actual rapes (serial rapists have an average of 5-8 victims according to the DOJ, so yeah, a small group of men victimizing multiple women) but if we’re talking about shit like what Knowles and Faraci did? Groping and grabbing? I suspect that percentage is higher.

It’s just a cute round ass. Or it’s what white people were calling a cute round ass in the 80s—I’m kind of surprised anyone’s still saying it, but then life is full of surprises.

The Endangered Species Act, signed into law by that bleeding heart liberal snowflake RICHARD fucking NIXON.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW until the sun goes out at the literal end of time