I mean, she’s “heavier” in the sense that she’s like a size 8 instead of a tiny petite ballerina.

Oh hon. That is awful and I’m so sorry.

OK, maybe Dane DeHaan is just one of those actors who always seems 100% modern and can’t do period pieces (though Zach Galifianakis looks weirdly authentic, who knew?). Maybe I’m just old now. Maybe it’s because he’s approximately 57x better at acting. But I am definitely finding Christoph Waltz the more appealing of…

Are you, perchance... Woody Allen?

Ok, I seriously love this. The clothes are amazing and the vintage aesthetic is flawless. I also love how active most of the models are (I say most because of the floppy lady being carried by our swamp monster friend). I’ve seen plenty of videos of models preening and being ogled, and I am 100% here for them fighting…

Aww, I love Mary Steenburgen! I mean, not as much as Ted Danson does, but she is darling. I mean:

I will miss Shade Court and your work on Jezebel so much!

I kind of want to think she does! I want to believe in a more magical world.

That’s so enraging! She totally carried the movie, she had more screen time and a more difficult part, and she’s been on the A-list for like 10 years longer than Chris Hemsworth. I mean, he was fine, but she was excellent, and it’s ridiculous that he was paid more.

Treme was a very good HBO show about New Orleans in the aftermath of Katrina, from the same folks who made The Wire. (It’s much less grim than that show, though it does have upsetting moments.) It didn’t get every single thing right about New Orleans, but it’s very nuanced, and gave a lot of varied, realistic, and…

Yeah, based on American Horror Story: Coven’s tone-deaf treatment of the black characters in particular, and New Orleans in general, I don’t think Ryan Murphy has any business making a show about Hurricane Katrina.

Like secretly-evil Peppermint Butler from Adventure Time:

You’re welcome! Let’s be real, I really enjoy stories about famous people acting entitled and bratty.

There’s a short novel about it! Well, kind of. It’s by Jenny Trout (a writer who did the best snarky 50 Shades recaps) and it’s heavily based on EL James’ behavior. (Er, alleged behavior. But come on.) It’s pretty fun. 

I’m juuuuuust gonna leave this here. 

I read about that, yes. It’s so enraging. Here is the article if anyone else wants to read it, but it’s pretty upsetting. I have found it useful, though, for sending to people who think “false rape accusations” are some kind of epidemic.

OK, but an accusation is not a conviction. Yes, being actually convicted of a rape you didn’t commit and serving time would be awful (and it has happened, usually to black men). But accusations rarely lead to jail time, even the 96-98% of the time (per the Justice Department) that the accusations are true.

This isn’t a situation where a celebrity is abusing people or pets, or is secretly a white supremacist, or anything terrible. She just bent the truth a little bit to make herself sound more awesome in a really tough industry. I don’t see how it really hurts anyone.

What’s up, I went to Jazzfest too! And I was walking around thinking, this seems very well-organized, and must have been a huge undertaking in terms of planning and logistics. And then of course I thought of Fyre Festival and how a bunch of Internet bros thought they could just magic up a huge event out of bullshit,…

I watched Johnny Suede, which is a terrible Brad Pitt movie from the 90s... because Nick Cave was in it. I feel like I deserve something for that. Goth points? Are goth points a thing?