League Rankings Avg Def Points Allowed:

PRIDE: I mean, it has to be the peacock, right? Look at those vain motherfuckers struttin’ around with their fancy-pants feathers.

It’s almost criminal that they’ve surrounded Rogers with such shitty receivers for most of his career. He had a few good years with Greg Jennings, but other than that, Jordy Fucking Nelson is probably the best receiver he’s played with. I want to live in an alternate universe where Rogers and Larry Fitzgerald ended up…

Every year the Bengals is the high-point of WYTS. There’s what you would think is an immoderate combination of ineptitude, despair, corruption, greed and malignity, but somehow it works in this annual column.

I know we’re not finished with the league yet, but holy shit, it’s gonna take SOME doing for a fanbase to be as self-harming as this one. I noticed it seemed to be the longest so far of the “HEAR IT FROM” sections, and it was definitely the funniest, in a scarily-dark way.

Yeah, I used to feel bad for the citizens of Cincinnati, that they got hosed on the acknowledged worst stadium public-financing deal in North America. I thought Bengals fans were cheated by a cheapskate owner who stinted on things like a front office or a scouting department.

I feel like everything you need to know about how and why Cincy got stuck with that stadium deal can be found encapsulated in that single tweet from a Trump rally.

What are you talking about. There are multiple references. Specifically where it comes from:

Holy shit. This may be the darkest, most depressing entry in the history of this series:

The last time this team won a playoff game, the first person to interview the head coach & QB was a black-glove-wearing OJ Simpson.

I say this as a Vikings fan, never ever put money on the Vikes. They will always perform in inverse proportion to expectations. When you think they will be good they will blow ass and when you think they will be horrible they will be good enough to give you hope before crushing your soul.

At least the top one is real...not sure if the others have made it to actual billboards, but one would wish they would.

Oh, go whine on your tiny violin somewhere else, you worthless cockwalloper. Quit fucking our elections.

I have family in Tampa and I can confirm it is a wretched place to live and visit. It is perpetually 150 degress and humid 10 months of the year and has all the worst parts of every other major city in the country with none of the good parts, like culture, unique local cuisine, or interesting people. It is at least 2…

I was there when it started in 1976. The Go-For-0 years. When it was fun and funny that they sucked so bad. I can (and have) put up with a lot of shit, both from the Culverhouse years and the Glazer’s. It is not ironic that the original Glazer wealth came from running trailer parks. But when they chose Jameis Winston,…

“So there you go, Tampa. You’re what people settle for when they can’t live in Cleveland.”

You’re what people settle for when they can’t live in Cleveland.

Didn’t get a chance to email in my feelings about my krewe, so here’s my take.

Mark Davis telling the Oakland fanbase he wants to win a title for us before moving to Vegas is basically like telling your wife you’ll get her that diamond necklace she’s always wanted before you divorce her for a stripper.

No, Mike, you can’t. But you also don’t have to turn your locker room into goddamned Arkham, either.