I mean, to be fair. She likely doesn’t know what jobs are.

Meghan does a lot more for the queer community than you’d think.  She’s been paying that drag queen to pretend to be her (no matter how much weight he puts on) for a couple of years now.

Jokes are hard, but keep working and I’m confident you’ll get one some day!

Warriors: *remove the VC*

A venture capitalist pushing around an actually talented person at their place of business? Wonders never cease.

Drake: I’m going to be the most dislikable courtside presence ever!

It’s time like this when Donald Sterling misses being a minority owner.

Arena football perhaps

It’s easy to castigate the people of Doonbeg, largely because we’re not faced with a choice between the significant economic support Trump’s resort likely provides the village and our personal principles, but I’d ask everyone to consider this:

Principles are a wonderful thing. They help to define our path through life,…

Guy further up mentioned an equivalent with the getting hit by foul ball when your sitting front row of the baseball field. Not exactly the same but patrons DO understand the danger

“I’m a white guy lawyer lots of people don’t like”

The good news is that even if they lose, they can just declare the north an independent nation and crown their own champions.

maybe because new york isnt nearly as impressive as everyone from new york thinks

Well sure, with that attitude.

Are we in hell? Because these two together...

Finally, a video that belongs on Deadspin.

Why tip someone for a job I’m capable of doing myself? I can deliver food, I can drive a taxi, I can and do cut my own hair. I did, however, tip my urologist. Because I am unable to pulverize my own kidney stones.

This is kind of what I do, I never tip when the barista isn’t looking because that’s when I pull a couple bills out of the tip jar. Then when they look I stuff it all back in and look like a hero. It’s much cheaper this way, not sure why everyone doesn’t do this. 

A ceremony called “The Sidebar” where they’re locked in a room with their swords and no food or water and only the victor gets to walk out. 

I read “tweeting” as “twerking” and promptly died from a brain hemorrhage.