Unfortunately, and I mean this seriously, I don't think he would be able to form that sentence. It has some form of wit. 

True, but there is a huge age split there too. 

That's different, that would be a topless photo of a woman. 

Please post video of you taking a sip of water.

Yep. I wish we had counties on our plates so people could identify the Madison and Milwaukee people separate from "AW JEEZ YER GOOOOIN TOO FAAERST WHAT DA FRICK" Wisconsin. 

This is state-by-state. Here in Wisconsin, it’s totally legal. It’s the logical complement to the fact that our law doesn’t say the left lane is for passing, rather “Slower traffic, keep right.” If you’re passing someone on the right, it’s because that other person didn’t follow the rule of keeping right.

Same as when you get pulled over, just start crying.

If I’m going to be driving on the same freeway for a long time, and someone does this, I very slowly increase my speed.

You’re both right. A pitfall of capitalism. They have a right to be grateful, and to expect something better.

Ha, yeah. Trust me, the first time I attended a game in person (seats were nowhere close to where she was) and that happened, I was like “HEY WHAT THE FUCK MAN.” It’s an acquired taste, and GSW is famous for millionaires who go to games as a status symbol rather than for excitement (or understanding) of the game.

Nah, this really is a normal, expected thing at a basketball game, and most fans would have the player's side here. I know it seems weird and I can't think of an equivalent in other sports, but it's normal. This happens at least once in most games. Keep in mind that the front row spectators can get onto the court in…

Well, the guy at the theater doesn’t have to listen to treatises about why they don’t get a tip, so it evens out.

cool

Yeah, I'm sure his boss will love that. 

Regarding the music quality, I’ve found that the Spotify app will switch off the ultra-high quality setting every few months, seemingly on its own. (Android, and I have the paid version of Spotify.) Might be worth checking.

These tweets do a good job of illustrating why it's hard to identify Twitter bots. 

Isn't it a reference to the hallucinogenic morning glory jelly that a relative Pearl made? 

This is just classic, smooth, not overly processed kinja right there.

Or of someone who would reasonably ask why he should use a silencer during target practice.

Except baseball and curling.