Yes, the over-coverage of aquatic sports on Deadspin has been a problem for years. I’m glad you and I are finally brave enough to say something.

I’d imagine he bought a different car and is suing them. It’s precisely what I’d do.

Yes. That probably made him angry. You nailed it.

The fuck are you talking about? I work in health care and we don’t get tested.

Until the gold standard is “call the police when a crime is reported,” there is no gold standard.

I don’t think it’s a man vs. woman thing. Someone tweeted that she sounds like someone sounding out the answer to a round of Wheel of Fortune, and it’s a spot-on joke. Her cadence is unnatural; it’s not really a knock, giving a speech in front of thousands of people is unnatural.

Kicked open my boss’s latchlocked door at a Dallas Hilton Garden Inn in 2008 while he was naked in bed watching Conan. Remains the coolest thing I’ve ever done.

+1 AP practice exam

I’m straight and would take that in a heartbeat. I know he’d give all of himself, before, during, and after. I’d be proud. Of both of us.

I’m sure wearing heels is absolutely terrible, but the only inequitable thing I can think of regarding dress codes is me having to wear a full wool suit in 95-degree weather...

Oh, God, yes. Have you ever been involved with unplanned anal? Unless she has an eating disorder, you’re really, really gonna want that planning...

Sorry, I’m legitimately confused - what does AAC stand for in that context? AAC is, itself, a conference, but from context it’s clear (I think?) that you aren’t referring to that.

I’m really happy with how this is going already.

You clearly did not go to Harvard.

Yup, you just responded to someone who’s been incepted.

And here I shamelessly repeat my Facebook post:

All the ethnicities? I call bullshit. #croatsarescaredofplanes

Thank whatever I’m not the only one. This absolutely would not go down like this. We got diverted because someone had nausea once, and it was on the exact same ATL-PHX Delta route.

Started an IV? Of what? For what? With what? Leftover dopamine in the coat closet? This makes absolutely no sense.

You realize that everyone reading this can tell you’re masturbating, right?