Don’t forget that the caption on that high school photo was “D’awwwwwwwww!”

“Rape on campuses isn’t always because people are rapists.”

Candler Felts is not to be mistaken for Chandler Delts, my Tumblr dedicated to Matthew Perry’s shoulder.

She’s kinda like my girls

I saw a baby fox just outside my back door the other day and for a hot second I was totally like OH MY GOD THIS IS IT THE MOMENT I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE - I’M GOING TO ADOPT A BABY FOX AND NAME IT TOD AND FEED IT FROM A BOTTLE WHILE SINGING WHEN YOU’RE THE BEST OF FRIENDS!!!!!

I’d love to own an actual fox. My grandmother adopted one back in the day and it never left her side.

This is an actual case of literal resting bitch face.

Right? I came here to say this. Suddenly, the cops remember they have non-gun options, even when dealing with a coked-out guy with a fucking rifle. Seriously, tell me again how big Michael Brown was and how impossible it was to subdue him without multiple gunshots.

An armed white guy.

“She cheated on me...” So what?! Grow the fuck up crybaby. Once again a woman is dead cause a man threw a temper tantrum.

Funny how when a white guy tries to escape police custody he’s subdued with pepper spray and a taser instead of being shot and killed.

Cutting the cheese is part of the bathroom experience.

He didn't realize the toilet paper was perforated into sheets, and was just going to cut off some.

“Perhaps you could rename [the] podcast, stuff you missed in history class mostly about women”

Isn’t it amazing how we have free will and if the podcast isn’t playing the exact content we want at the moment we have the power to turn it off and do something else. Amazing isn’t it? On the other hand, maybe some of my fellow penis bearers could shut the fuck up and listen and maybe learn some shit they aren’t…

It’s telling how the woman in her mid-20ies is a homewrecker, while the poor, naive man twice her age and life experience was just an easy mark to exploit and blackmail.

What the fuck did we ever do to you??

But I thought in America you had a right to bare arms...

I’ll show myself out...

Yeah, Idk. She mentioned her husband on Anna Faris’ podcast, which she did with Chris. She talked about how you can make male/female friendships work while you’re in a relationship. This bums me out in light of how that podcast was like, “It’s possible to be in a healthy hetero relationship and still have opposite sex…