“He’d mixed a half-gallon of bleach with a half-gallon of ammonia in the mop bucket.”

This is how I feel about anything Kris Jenner says... EVER!

I’m pretty sure that he’s an Australian sheepdog who saved a faerie godmother from certain death and when she asked him how she could repay him he said, “Make me a human man.”

Wait. Is this from the episode where Samantha catches Richard cheating on her? Because the episode after that is my favorite one. Specifically because of this scene:

I won’t call her out on the affair—he broke vows, she didn’t. She owes nothing to another person’s marriage. That said, the way she taunted the first wife was borderline sociopathic.

x2. I went to a college on the other side of the state, and didn’t hear from my mom once until I called her to let her know I was dropping out because the west side of Michigan is AWFUL (4 months of endless snow, ice, and grey skies (also my first Thunder Snow) exacerbated my depression). Then I didn’t hear from her…

Awwwies.

That’s totally fair. I mean, I like my coworkers, but I’m also introverted, and sometimes I just want to not Human for a while. Doesn’t mean I don’t like them, just that I’m spent.

Preach! It only takes one or two crazies to burn you before you think “never again!”. Not to mention I see these people more than my own family and friends. At least with those groups I can get some space if something goes down but I have to continuously collaborate in a professional manner no matter if we are on good…

I have work friends, but they’re not friends outside of work, and I don’t see why they should be. They have busy lives outside of work, as do I. We enjoy each other’s company and conversation at work, but we spend time with our other friends and families outside of work.

Teens/early 20s = friends, lovers and enemies at work are fair game

Remembering Joan say that still breaks my heart.

Urm. Jack Bristow doesn’t wear spectacles.

“And here’s how you deflate a ball just enough, sweetie. Next we’ll play Break Daddy’s Phone At An Opportune Moment.”

Unpopular opinion — never found Cindy Crawford attractive — young or old, retouched or not. But I do think it’s funny that she’s so vain and out of touch that she doesn’t understand “why seeing a bad photo of me would make people feel good”.

“Feel Like Bacon Love”

Doesn’t she? Like a badly-trussed turkey. Like a sweaty, half-cooked Lincolnshire sausage. Like a quenelle of foie gras that’s fallen behind the sideboard and been forgotten for two months. I could go on with the unfortunate food metaphors for quite some time, but I’m actually going to go die now so I never have to…

It’s so weird how saying “I’m sorry” doesn’t magically negate years of violent abuse.

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