Tell me you can’t see Johnny Depp owning...34,000 silk scarves

And you know he also collects something bizarre, just for the sake of being bizarre, like fingernail clippings from rock stars who died at age 27 or rejected wax models from Madame Tussaud’s.

Ben Affleck is still salty about Gigli, y’all.

That’s a beautiful young comment. Absolutely stunning! Do I wanna fuck it? ...I mean, not yet.

This comment Makes America Great Again.

“Have I told you about the new gymnastics academy I’m gonna open up? I’m not just going to be the owner, but I’ll be very hands-on in coaching as well.”

Oh man. That’s so dark, I applaud you sir.

On... on his foot, right?

I’m 31. I’ve done election cycles before. The shit that’s been popping up in this one seems unique. Am I taking crazy pills, or has this thing tumbled through the looking glass into badgerfuck blithering lunacy-world?

Yup-no eye contact, yes sir, yes maam, and don’t dare speak unless asked a direct question. Under no circumstances are you to disagree or question authority!

Not to jump on your bones or anything, just a small observation from my last flight a couple weeks ago from Chicago to LAX. They started checking bags because they were saying the top was full and i was the 1st to volunteer mine, and the white lady right behind me flipped out on the lady who told her she has to check…

... you know that even after that he’d just do it again though.

I have not. More importantly, Tantaros values did align with Fox New’s and she actively promoted those values on air and with her book which she published without her employers’ permission. She successfully promoted an anti-feminist culture through her own talents and hard work. And then this culture harmed her as it…

Totally off topic but fuck it, Gawker is now combined with Jezebel so I support our sports loving dudes who don’t have posting abilities on Deadspin. Lochte was a feature two weeks ago on ESPN. It was an in depth look at his life where he showed off his Rolls Royce with gold plated grill, the Range Rover with his…

The bar seems to be easily lowered... and Matt Lauer is almost always present for it.

That was your mistake. I’m not at all sanguine Lochte doesn’t murder drifters. That’s the problem with satirizing mega-entitled jock dude bros—it’s hard to go too far enough. Bret Easton Ellis ran into similar problems late in his career when the excesses of rich white dudes far outpaced his imagination for…

I just expended a lot of energy to call Fox perverts. Given that I accused him of murdering drifters you can tell I wasn't using him as a serious device, just randomness.

It’s not sexual immorality. They are simply purging their genitals, so they can better serve the children of America. Kind of like how swimmers like Ryan Lochte will capture and drown a drifter the night before a competition. You need to go a little haywire in your element if you expect to endure it. This is why Fox…

“Fox News masquerades as a defender of traditional family values, but behind the scenes, it operates like a sex-fueled, Playboy Mansion-like cult, steeped in intimidation, indecency and misogyny.”

I don’t know- Shelly and Maura seem much more like “we’re being terrible by accident and we genuinely care about people.” The kids are just... careening blindly into everyone around them, not seeming to really consider others.