I thought the same thing. I'm not from Salem, but I can think of a few restaurants right around the downtown area that should have been open at 9.

The greatest proof I have that my father loved me as a child was he used to happily listen to me play the saxophone when I was nine. In fact, he would even have me play for his friends when they came over. I thought I was Bill Fucking Clinton. It wasn't until I joined middle school band that I realized I was not…

I live in Massachusetts and watching TV last night, I saw a ton of ads for the Republican candidate for governor saying how much he believes in climate change and reproductive rights for women. And the ads from New Hampshire call out candidate for being anti-choice.

This is funny to me. My neighborhood growing up was fairly affluent, but a large and really spread out. It was a development built on a hilly former horse farm. People gave out full sized candy bars because 1) there wasn't a ton of trick or treaters 2) after walk 3 miles uphill, you earned that fucking snickers.

Hahahaha. Yes. But he also feels bad because he's trying to eat better, but lacks impluse control.

ME. ME. ME.

Yeah, I think this sadly true. My parents did one and they're still together, but the only reason they did it was because they wanted to throw a big party with all their friends and family because they were afraid my dad was going to die of cancer. But he didn't so YAAAAAAY.

This is mostly me too. I hate shopping with a purpose so around September I start looking out for gifts when I'm already out buying stuff. Come December if I don't already have a present for someone, I order it online or buy it from a smaller, less insane store that is not located in a mall. No mall EVER.

Trader Joe's has a pumpkin spice rooibos tea.

One time I had a long twitter conversation with her about our collective boyfriend, Tim Howard, and it was VERY EXCITING for me.

YES EVERY SINGLE GAME INCLUDING PRESEASON AND SUMMER LEAGUE.

NO YOU CAN'T MAKE US. WE LOVE ELIZABETH WARREN.

Wait a minute! Throw some 'er's and 'uh's in there. What's your hurry?

"Do you mind? Some of us are trying to nail Catherine the Great here... Or should I say Catherine the So-So!"

Definitely best show ever.

My sister had the reverse of this happen to her once. She moved in with her boyfriend, went to work the same day, and came home to find her had moved all her stuff back to our parent's house. She had just quit her job to go to school near his new place (the plan was for him to pay the bills) and they had just adopted…

Didn't they eventually get divorced? Did I make this up?

I remember one book where Claudia was sent to a special school (or maybe just a class) for kids with learning disabilities, but they didn't help and it turned out that she didn't have one? So I guess she's just not very book smart.

Did you read the one where they go to California and Mallory gets a make over and dyes her hair blond? I remember wanting visual evidence of this because there was no way she didn't look completely terrible.

And also Logan got kicked out of the production from yelling, "Mutiny!" like that's a bad word or something. I remember being SO CONFUSED by that as a kid.