Thanks! I love Jalopnik even though for the most part I’m “car dumb” best thing I’ve ever done was replace the alternator in my truck. Still a super proud moment for me, but I love Jalopnik for people like you who will actually take the time to explain things to us who are mechanically less-inclined

Brother, does it really come out that fast? I’m honestly asking because holy shit does it seem to take forever to put 15 gallons in my tank

The strangest thing about her bio as that her hometown is ALSO “Middletown, DE China”

Shouldn’t poke McKenna, the dude crushes research. You deserve the horns for fucking with the bull

Why was I hoping that the girl was holding the door closed and then a bigger guy from the football team would push the shitter on its side just because comedy?

I came to Deadspin for the dick jokes, and athlete dongs (remember those posts?) and now I’m on the moral high ground above ESPN. This is strange, but I feel kind of good.

Wegmans is life

I was watching Fast Times at Ridgemont High when I heard. It was fucking spooky

Bang biscuit

It was a better idea than the “World Police Lives Matter” patches though

Who is XXXTentacion? I’m an old

I can’t believe Fireman Ed died for this guy’s sins

Honestly not as bad as I was expecting. But you weren’t fucking around, that shark hung in FOREVER

Any opportunity to post this is a good day.

Seventh penalty: miss thrown beer

Fifth penalty, just say “fuck it” and wait for a beer

That was a great fucking game

I was more just saying it doesn’t have to be the same goddamn thing, over and over in every thread. Shit gets redundant and loses its punch

Hey joey, great analysis. You’re doing the lords work by making that your only thought

Good to see you in the comment section again Gronk, how’s the groin?