the correct answer is fernando

Kobe: “See, this guy gets it.”

This is not a good day for England.

Whoa - pro athletes pay state taxes in EVERY state they have at least one game? I did not know this.

This is nothing. The New York Mets have been pretending to be a pro-style team for 53 years.

I thought we got rid of that Kony asshole back in 2012.

Counterpoint: Fuck Miguel Cabrera.

Emma Stone.

I think this is the rare case where the public can just look at the results and know Kerr is the better coach. On a side note, listening to Jackson call these games is humorous in its own way, especially when he starts talking about offense, the very thing that got him fired.

I take offense to this as a person who has sucked a lot of dicks (I don’t actually take offense, tbc)

He bailed on the Sixers which means he has dignity which means I like him.

This had already made my day, but then I noticed that it’s filed to “go fuck yourselves”...I bow down to your lack of fucks.

What idiot called it Bark at the Park instead of the Marge Schott Memorial Bring The Bitch Out To The Ballpark Day.

WHO NEEDS THIS MUCH KETCHUP?!

I must be the only person who’s never had an issue with O’Hare, despite using it for decades (until recently, I lived no more than a 10-minute’s drive, door to door).

I went through this a decade ago, and it all turned out well. Hope it does for you as well, Thorin.

Congrats, you're an abusive parent. Showing your kid not to be violent by being violent? Excellent strategy. That poor baby boy, why do you think he hits, when you show him that hitting is appropriate? And shaking? How old is he? I've seen one too many kids with fucked up vision from being shaken. But I don't think…

Bill Simmons argues (stay with me) that you should judge moves by how opposing fans react.

I have very sensitive skin and safety razors give me a bad rash. I was an electric shaver only man until I tried a Fusion. It's the only manual razor that leaves my flesh intact.