It’s like paying a cover to get into the grocery store to spend money.

How Altidore managed to not put a foot full of cleats into that guy’s face is a mystery. I watched that GIF loop several times and was disappointed every time he didn’t do it.

When we run out of rich people who see sports event attendance as a luxury item that can show off, and less rich people who are way too emotionally invested in the teams they follow.

When will we as a society start saying “fuck off?” Seriously.

The Warrior will also accept 60% ownership in your start up.

Here’s how we do this fairly: If you get bitten, or nipple twisted, or given the complimentary prostate exam, you let the hands fly. The refs stop the fight. Everybody looks at the inciting incident. If they find nothing you get a red card. If they find any other shenanigans they are carded and you are given a round…

Sorry, I was vague...I meant after the game. You see bites, etc, you watch video after the game and retroactively give a yellow or red. Other sports do this for fines and even suspensions even if a penalty wasn’t called during the game. Again, if this happens then my complete lack of soccer knowledge is hurting my…

The beautiful game people!

I’ve always wondered why soccer can’t go to the video after the fact and deliver cards for this kind of stuff and diving. To me, it would cut a lot of the bullshit out that refs legitimately might not be able to see 

Playing in Toronto has rubbed off on Altidore. You can even hear him say “sorry” after getting tittle twisted.

I’m not sure I’ve every seen it called an American History X rather than a curb-stomp

How Jozy didn’t American History X that guy after he flopped is beyond me. But the only thing I thought after seeing Jozy standing over him was, please stomp the life out of that guy

The dive after Altidore gets up and nudges him is what makes it art.

A titty twister is a time honored example of gamesmanship. Don’t lump it in with disgraceful actions like biting and nut punches. It belongs with other well and good tactics like wet willies and pantsing.

I mean, I still somersault off your parents’ bed.

Wait, are you supposed to stop somersaulting off your parents bed at some age? Certainly not by 32, right?

Dude, he hit three home runs in game one of the World Series.

Good for you Omar. That said, could you please stop forgetting to mark guys in the box? God, I’ve never seen a supposedly top level player just leave guys open two or three times a game like he does. So fucking aggravating.

Well, Pablo does love the Tenderloin.

Back to hittin dongs-