“I suck now.” —Kobe Bryant, November 1, 2015

Your comment is butt.

Kobe reminds me of a bygone age, one where 66-63 was an actual score in an actual Eastern Conference semifinal game (Celtics over Pistons, 2002), where “efficiency” and “ball movement” and “shot selection” were all crazy talk.

This is also known as “that time I lost interest in basketball for awhile.”

Watching Kobe endlessly pound the ball as the rest of the team stands around and watches is fun? Glad you mentioned that assist, as it was his only one all night. Meanwhile he went 0 for 8 in the 4th, so he did keep it close in a way.

I hate how much I like these shitty Lakers, and I want them to go back to being good so I can go back to hating them.

Take that Brian McCann you fat fuck.

I thought it wasn’t Steve Spurrier’s job to stop Steve Spurrier?

Drinking Heineken is always a problem.

Now if only all black men abused by cops could afford million dollar representation. Or any legitimate representation at all.

I’d pay to watch Harvey Updyke and Tammy have sweaty, unprotected, uneducated sex in a Cracker Barrel bathroom.

As a warning, the video’s rough to watch.

“So here’s some dickhead, wearing a Red Sox cap.”

The worst part of this video is the bro in all Rockies gear a row or 2 behind that brought a glove to a game. As an adult. Why wasn’t he ejected?! smh...

Move over, Oakland, there’s a new sheriff in town.

As a Phillies fan, it always hurts when people only know Jim Bunning as another idiot politician.

Imma guess the Illuminati cut you off before you could finish

Bullshit. They would have found something else to bitch about. I mean, considering how little this fucking matters, and they’re STILL managing to make a big deal out of it, I frankly don’t think any theoretical headaches could have been saved.

For $100,000 you could buy 200 Hyundai Accents and control the flow of traffic wherever you go.

I read that. It was amusing. But I don’t need to see the forthcoming receipt for Drew’s nipple clamps.