I think this level of celeb is the best subject material.

So not only did he throw out her birth control, but then he made sure he was filmed “interviewing” her about it because he knew she would freak the fuck out. Well, that’s....disgusting.

I don’t know what Mother! is about, but I have always thought Jennifer Lawrence kinda looked like Lightning McQueen.

I will probably never see this movie, but I did read this detailed explanation of the plot and holy shit.

I am not really much of a kid person but I really do love this kid’s resting bitch face.

Since The Limited closed I also have nowhere to buy work clothes too. Clothing shopping is such a chore now. Everything is ugly.

Truly. I still generally like Banana Republic stuff for the office, but GAP stuff is mostly like, “What if Old Navy clothes were more expensive and less flattering?”

I always knew George Burnett would go far.

This is some really thorough reporting to drop at 8am.
Deadspin Up All Night indeed.

We had a talking parrot when I was a kid and they are so incredibly smart. He would yell “shut the door” whenever anyone left the house and learned to count in English and Spanish from watching Sesame Street with me. His language skills were incredible and he actually adapted and learned. My mom hated him and always…

Agreed. My original joke was in.....questionable taste.

I had to read that headline multiple times to comprehend it. I don’t even want to say where my mind was heading.

Murderer Fingered By Parrot

How jealous are we? Although, I’m currently being paid to drink a cup of coffee and comment on Jez. We are all winners here.

It’s definitely at least the fourth

Found the leaker!

It was an attempted fake news pun that could have used more work

This is why I’m grey. Poor quality control.

Jezebel is Snake News!

I work with someone who wouldn’t go outside at all during the eclipse because she was afraid she would go blind. She went into a hallway without windows so she could be assured not one ray of sunlight would reach her.

I was in the path of totality and it was an amazing experience. (#sodacity)!! I was prepared to be a stodgy Grinch about the whole thing, but it was totally moving and I actually welled up a bit seeing it. It was pure magic. I get why people travel all over the globe for eclipses.