Kimmel and Hannity are both shitheads. Kimmel only turned into an advocate and feminist when he stood to profit from it, when it was politically fashionable to do so, and when he got a late night show. He shed his Man Show garbage persona as easily as he took it up for the same two reasons: laughs and greed.

I’ll just leave this here Kim:

Virginia was eating kids before it was cool.

I think you’re being too rash in your judgement here. Some of them cover themselves with jam, taunting us.

On the one hand, I am a Missourian who just penciled in “beat up Jared Leto,” so I can’t really criticize your instincts. But I suspect a truck stop on I-70 is where Leto’s big mouth would be most welcome.

Case in point

Kids I want to write tell-all books:

My wife is an adoptee and had her DNA tested. She had perviously identified her birth mother; they do not have a relationship.

“If I told you his name, you’d know who he is.”

A close guy friend of mine explained to me that men are usually the last to know that their relationships are ending. Men in relationships tend to tune out their partners because guys figure women complain about everything anyway and most of that unhappiness gets worked out. So by the time the relationship is done,…

I dunno, I kind of think we’d be better off as a society if we didn’t use length of time as the main metric for judging the success of a relationship.

And it always feels like we are one study away from finding out the opposite conclusion anyway.

Enough of anything causes cancer. Even broccoli. I’ve got ‘this causes cancer’ fatigue at this point. There needs to be clear reporting up front on how much consumption it takes for the substance to increase your chances of getting cancer, and maybe a threshold for what level of needed consumption triggers legal…

Quick question. Am I the only one in the world who does not find Tom Hardy attractive?? It can’t just be it. It just can’t.

Do not trick me into clicking on a source again thinking it’s going to be a long overdue update on MC Hammer just to feel disappointment when I discover it’s actually about Armie Hammer. I do not give a fuck about Armie Hammer’s tracksuit.

Ummm Christina looks amazing!

I somehow got on a mailing list for all of Don’s “personal surveys” begging us to tell him that we all really love him. I fill them out, politely explaining why he’s an embarrassment to the Presidency, the U.S., and the entire human race, and—I know it’s petty, stupid, and pointless—when asked, “Is there anything else…

“Tiffany who?”-@realDonaldTrump

Yeaaaaaaaah look, we all think it’s creepy but I think I speak for most of us when I say that it’s muuuuuch better when a sketchy dude can go to a “sex doll brothel” instead of patronizing a sex-worker who may actually be trafficked?

Congrats to Don’s girlfriend on getting her braces off recently!