I am currently an underemployed barista and I get so upset when someone spells out their very common name, mostly because I am halfway through writing the name and their spelling it makes me mess up because I am trying to pay attention to them and it makes me look stupid when I have messed up John.

I have always referred to it as BMS: Bitchy Man Syndrome.

But I just say hey, it's me and my dick!

If you frequent the same coffee shop every day, tip either at the beginning of the week or at the end of the week. Baristas talk and you'll see yourself getting upgraded or completely comped. I say this as a barista who will give regulars who tip either a freebie once a week or your wait time will significantly be…

Beyonce, you can do anything you put your mind to but you cannot wear hats. It's just not in the stars for you and your big hair.

I used to work at a pretty busy movie theatre in New York, like the kind of theatre where they host movie premiers so I've seen my fair share of celebs at this point. I was working concessions one day and as I turn around from the popcorn maker to face the customers, I see Keanu Reeves staring back at me. I was…

I was my friends MOH and her parents covered the cost of my dress (no more than $250 if I am remembering correctly) because I was still in college at the time; I only had to pay for my alterations and shoes. When they found out how much I paid to cover the bachelorette party (a whole $80!), her Aunt thought it was…

Remember tuesday when it was about 35 degrees in the city, 27 when I left my house for work, I saw a lady on the train wearing flip flops and a short skirt. We have all gone crazy and mother nature is to blame.

Remember when she was your/our imaginary best friend before Emma Stone came around and then you/we dumped Emma Stone for Jennifer Lawrence?

Thatz not okay.

I have a friend who would tell me in detail her sexcapades and I hate it! It would be all she talked about for a few days followed by a couple more days of hoping that she would get the extra good sex with the guy again followed by a week of "sigh I was really hoping for sex with him again." I learned to tune her out…

Am I the only one who does not want to see Mindy and Danny together? He is such an asshole to her but then he does one sweet thing for/to her at the end of the episode and it is supposed to negate his previous assholeness? Yeah Chris Messina is hot but Danny Castellano is a jerk.

Can't ever get into Elementary because it is just going to end with Miller and Liu having sex at one point. Just like Bones. Sex ruins lives.

But she lies.

Its obviously Swiffers, guys.

I'm #teamdessert anyway I can get it. I once ate nothing but pie for a full 2 days. Another time I bought a mini cake for myself from Wegmans. I really like dessert.

I saw this headline and yelled SHUT YOUR FUCKING FACE at my computer. Complete with hand motions only seen on RHONJ.

"How rude" has lost all meaning now.